


Picking Up The Pieces

by BSBLover2538



Category: Backstreet Boys
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 13:10:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16577132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BSBLover2538/pseuds/BSBLover2538
Summary: Brian Littrell has been hiding 2 major things from his bandmates, and they are about to be revealed. How will his bandmates react, and will Brian stay with the group?





	Picking Up The Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I was watching the documentary a few weeks ago, and I started thinking about the other guys' reactions to the reveal of Brian's vocal issues. This is my head-canon of what the reactions would have been like. 
> 
> Disclaimer: As always I do not own the rights to the Backstreet Boys, and all rights go to them and their management. This work is pure fiction.

AJ McLean, Brian Littrell, Howie Dorough, Kevin Richardson, and Nick Carter were feeling extremely proud of themselves in the current time period of their life. They had been together as a vocal group, known world-wide as the Backstreet Boys, for almost twenty-two years now.  They had been through the highest of highs, and the lowest of lows together. As a present for their fans, and to mark Kevin’s return to the group, they had decided to film their experience making their new album together. In the process of filming, they also went back to their hometowns and discussed life before the group had formed.  

Their documentary, “ _Show ‘_ _Em_ _What You’re Made Of_ ” had recently been released, and none of the guys had seen it yet. Kevin had picked up a copy of it earlier in the week, and asked his bandmates and brothers to come to his place on Friday night so they could watch it together for the first time. They all agreed, and planned to meet at Kevin’s at 5pm to have dinner together before they watched the film.  

Brian, in particular, was feeling extremely nervous about seeing the film with his brothers. He had been keeping a secret from all of them, including his cousin Kevin, that he had revealed during the course of the film being made. He had been diagnosed with dystonia, and muscle tension dysphonia, almost five years earlier. He was in therapy for it, secretly, but he still struggled with it daily. He thought back to the fight he and Nick had had over his vocals, and wished he had been strong enough then to reveal the diagnoses, but he wasn’t ready then. He just silently prayed that tonight would go smoothly.  

Kevin had made a simple meal of spaghetti and meatballs for dinner, and once the other four had come over, they settled down to have a nice meal and catch up with each other, since they hadn’t seen each other in a few weeks. Brian got more and more tense as the time neared, but didn’t outwardly show it. Soon, the five settled down in Kevin’s family room as Howie got the movie set up.  

Two hours, and many tears shed later, Brian looked at his brothers. They were all staring at him with various facial reactions. Nick was actively still crying, Howie looked concerned, AJ appeared to be stunned, while Kevin was a combination of concerned, annoyed, and pissed. Brian took a deep breath and prepared for the onslaught of verbal reactions, and he wasn’t disappointed. The four were talking over each other, and Brian could hardly hear himself think.  

Howie finally got them all calmed down, and asked Brian to explain what was going on with him. Brian started to explain that he had been diagnosed with muscle tension dysphonia, which meant that his vocal cords tensed up when he sang or spoke, leaving him with a rough sounding voice. It also was the reason he had a harder time singing the lower notes that used to be so easy for him. His voice also lost air a lot easier. Along with that, the dystonia made his voice sound strangled, and was the neurological part of the issue. His brain had a hard time sending the right signals to get his voice to work the way it was supposed to.  

As Brian finished his explanation, he again looked at the other four. Nick stared at him with tears in his eyes, Howie just still looked concerned, AJ had his jaw dropped, and Brian could see his mind was racing, and trying to understand what Brian had said. He then chanced a look at his cousin, who looked utterly defeated at him, with a hint of anger. 

Kevin asked Brian why he had to find out this way, and not with their family, and why he felt like he had to keep this hidden. Kevin was also pissed at himself for not seeing it earlier. He was supposed to be the big brother of the group, but he had completely missed this. Brian faced his cousin and told him that he was ashamed of the diagnoses, and that he didn’t want to let the group down even more than he already had.  

This stunned the other four, and while they were thinking, Brian looked at Howie. Howie asked Brian how he was currently doing, and what he was doing to improve. He was genuinely curious and concerned for his brother. Brian revealed that he was in voice therapy, and it was working, but there was no cure for his conditions. This was a punch in the gut to the rest of the group. They had hoped there was a cure, but Brian would continue to struggle with this for years.  

AJ shook his head, and asked what Brian planned to do from here on out. He knew they were working on the new album, and now he realized why Brian sounded the way he did. Brian told them that he would continue therapy, and do the best he could on the days his voice was stronger. He asked Kevin and Howie if they would be willing to have more solos on the upcoming album, so that Brian could focus on the harmonies, which tended to be easier for him. Both men said that they would love it, but were saddened by the reason for it.  

Brian faced Nick, who was completely devastated. He kept replaying the argument they had had that day in his head, and to see it in the film shattered his heart completely. Nick felt like a monster, now knowing what Brian was going through. He started trying to apologize to Brian, but Brian shook his head. The man went over and held his little brother in his arms while Nick cried and apologized over and over again. The other three shed their own tears watching their littlest brother so upset. Brian just kept shushing Nick, and finally got him to calm down.  

Brian told Nick that he didn’t blame him for his words at all, that it was a wake-up call for him. Nick also asked why he hadn’t told them, and Brian looked down. He haltingly revealed that he thought that they wouldn’t want to deal with all of the issues he now had, and was thinking of leaving the group. As he was staring at his shoes, he felt a slap to the back of his head. He looked up into the angry eyes of one AJ McLean.  

AJ was now extremely angry at his brother. He couldn’t believe that Brian was thinking that he would leave the group. He told Brian that they had been through so much in the last twenty-two years, and this was just another thing that they would get through. They would make the adjustments needed, and Brian would still be a complete member of the group. He spoke passionately, and Brian saw the other three agree with his words.  

Kevin and Howie looked at each other, and silently told themselves to keep an eye on Brian for the foreseeable future, until he realized that he was staying in the group. Nick just snuggled further into Brian, having never left his arms. AJ went and had a quick word with Kevin and Howie, who nodded and left the room.  

The duo soon came back with blankets and pillows, and said that they were having a sleepover tonight, and that they would try and do nights like this more often, so that they could talk about anything and everything. Brian was elated to hear that, and resolved to talk to his brothers about what he was going through from now on. The five of them spread out on the floor, with Brian in the middle, and watched movies together until they fell asleep.  

Brian Littrell knew that his diagnoses would be with him for the rest of his life, but they did not define him. He would battle the conditions admirably, and he would have the support of his family, his brothers, their fans, and most importantly, the courage within himself to fight for his dreams every day. As he fell asleep, surrounded by his brothers, a gentle smile fell upon his face, and he had the best sleep he had had in months.


End file.
